16 July, 2004

Fashion check

Through careful observation I have determined that my clothing is out of fashion. (You can stop gasping sarcastically now.) Specifically, my socks.

Apparently at some point it was determined that socks halfway up to the knees look really stupid, and now everyone has socks that extend no more than three-quarters of an inch past the top of the sneaker. If you can even see them at all: some people have "invisible" socks that only cover the part of the foot that fits inside the sneaker.

It's annoying, in a way, because I've always thought I look like a dweeb with my socks halfway up to my knees, but bunching your socks up around your ankles is no better. Then you just look like Olivia Newton-John.

On the other hand, maybe I've reached the point in my adult life where I'm not expected to respond to fashion, anyway. I was always somewhat impressed by the fact that my school-teachers were apparently completely immune to the notion that the clothes they wore made them look like large, flightless versions of tropical birds; a separate part of me wanted to laugh at them. But now that I'm a bit older I think I can appreciate their perspective (if there was any "perspective" operating, here) a bit better. Do I really have to go and buy a whole new set of socks now that the fashionable sock-length has decreased? I'd rather shout, "Fuck, no!", hook my socks into my garters, and join the Flightless Tropical Bird community. Next stop: combover toupee.

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