21 January, 2005

The short list

Those of you who caught Bush's inauguration speech will have realized that there's another war a-comin'. Those of you who caught Condi Rice's Senate hearing will have a pretty good idea where it's going to be. Eschewing the now-outmoded "axis of evil", Ms. Rice named six countries that she described as "outposts of tyranny". Tyranny being the enemy of freedom. Since the U.S. is now the champion knight of freedom, we're bound to whup some tyrannical ass. Here's the choices: Cuba, Zimbabwe, Burma, Belarus, Iran and North Korea.

Now some of this may be a bit confusing: "Wait a minute... Burma? The same Burma ruled by the dictator Than Shwe, with whom Halliburton did business while Dick Cheney was its CEO?* That Burma? Or some other Burma...? I've been confused ever since they renamed it Myanmar..."

Or you may be wondering why Belarus got singled out, as opposed to, I don't know, some other dictatorial regime. But you would be wrong to think that; what's important is that we identify anti-American dictatorial regimes. The logic is inescapable: The United States is the friend of freedom. If you are a friend to the United States, you must also, therefore, be a friend of freedom (or introductions can be made, anyway, at the appropriate social gathering). And if you're a friend of freedom, you're obviously not its enemy, viz., a tyranny.

Anyway, keep your eyes peeled - there's doings a-transpirin'.

* Including, apparently, the use of children to lay their pipeline. Fabulous.

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