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Rhinocrisy
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23 January, 2006
We are blushing
So some anonymous do-gooder has apparently nominated us for the category of "Most Deserving of Wider Recognition"* in the 2005 Koufax Awards. We are there along with some 300-other blogs, including the definitely deserving Nur al-Cubicle, Pinko Feminist Hellcat, and Yep, Another Goddamn Blog, all of whom are capable of writing longer paragraphs than I am. Unlikely indeed that this humble blog should rise to the top of this stack, but I won't complain if we do. Perhaps we can help the cause along by increasing our buoyancy - hot air rises! We will begin now. "Harumph, harumph! Capitalism! Destruction of the earth! Et cetera, et cetera. Something about animals!"
* This category reminds me of one we had in our Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby†, "Most Kid-like Construction", which I used to win every year because I was the only kid who actually made my own damn racer.
† A Pinewood Derby is where you hand out a bunch of blocks of wood and a set of wheels to several hundred kids. They take them home to their engineer dads, who craft the blocks of wood into aerodynamically perfect, forward-weighted, graphite-lubed racing machines. (Including spoilers. I am not shitting you.) Then everyone races their cars down a ramp, and I lose.
* This category reminds me of one we had in our Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby†, "Most Kid-like Construction", which I used to win every year because I was the only kid who actually made my own damn racer.
† A Pinewood Derby is where you hand out a bunch of blocks of wood and a set of wheels to several hundred kids. They take them home to their engineer dads, who craft the blocks of wood into aerodynamically perfect, forward-weighted, graphite-lubed racing machines. (Including spoilers. I am not shitting you.) Then everyone races their cars down a ramp, and I lose.
Comments
Pinewood Derby. The car is the size of your hand, and you could not sit in it unless you had a severe genetic disorder or an unusually clever parent.
Posted by saurabh
Posted by saurabh
=v= I used to make kid-like Pinewood Derby cars, too. Rather than attempting smoothness and aerodynamicity, I based my design on my whittling abilities. I figured I'd have no trouble carving it into a Barney Rubble car, which is basically a log with wheels.
After carving it about halfway in front, I weighed it. It seemed to me that I wanted the thing to be as heavy as possible, since it's a downhill race, and already I was alarmingly lightweight. I changed the design goal: since the front looked like a loaf of bread, I pretended it was an old-fashioned radiator. I drew a grid on it with a magic marker, and to bring the weight back up to just under the minimum, I put a nail in the seat and stuck a Fisher Price Little Person on it.
I did not win any awards for prettiness. However, I did almost win. During the penultimate race, my car hit a seam in the track assembly and my Little Person popped out and landed on the other car's track. I was afraid that my driver's kamikaze tactics would disqualify me, but it was clear to everyone that my car would've won that race anyway, so I was allowed to go on to the finals -- but without the Little Person.
My now lighter-weight hunk of wood came in second. So close ...
P.S.: Cars suck.
Posted by Jym
After carving it about halfway in front, I weighed it. It seemed to me that I wanted the thing to be as heavy as possible, since it's a downhill race, and already I was alarmingly lightweight. I changed the design goal: since the front looked like a loaf of bread, I pretended it was an old-fashioned radiator. I drew a grid on it with a magic marker, and to bring the weight back up to just under the minimum, I put a nail in the seat and stuck a Fisher Price Little Person on it.
I did not win any awards for prettiness. However, I did almost win. During the penultimate race, my car hit a seam in the track assembly and my Little Person popped out and landed on the other car's track. I was afraid that my driver's kamikaze tactics would disqualify me, but it was clear to everyone that my car would've won that race anyway, so I was allowed to go on to the finals -- but without the Little Person.
My now lighter-weight hunk of wood came in second. So close ...
P.S.: Cars suck.
Posted by Jym
We interrupt this discussion to make an urgent announcement--CUTE BABY RHINOCEROS! SOOOO CUTE!
Posted by Saheli
Posted by Saheli
