27 September, 2006


The above "Shazam!" is deceptive, actually. I fully intend to mosey back into blooging at a reasonable pace. I apologize for my laxity. The only reason I haven't been bulging is --

Hey! Look! Over there! What's that?
[ Points to rear of audience. Runs away. ]

Err. I'm back. Anyway, in this brief hiatus, I accomplished the following:
I started doing capoeira seriously again. I've been taking it easy the past few months, but that's really quite dumb. There's so much to learn, and I am now in my twenty-eighth year, so I had best get cracking. Also, there's really no point in wasting time, since that time is, err, wasted.

I also turned twenty-seven, as you may have guessed. I didn't really celebrate; I never do. My birthday methodology consists of (a) not telling anyone, (b) hoping they'll somehow figure it out anyway, and (c) waiting around increasingly despondently for someone to call me up and surprise me with a "Happy Birthday, Saurabh!", thus providing me with enough validation to exist for another year. Thanks to all of you who did wish me; my lack of appreciation was only apparent and not actual.

I took this opportunity to get totally hammered. Four shots of gin, Hendrick's, straight up, did it for me, since I weigh less than insouciance and had eaten precisely nothing that day. I did reasonably well, despite that - I think my gaze was only slightly unfocused when I said good night to the attractive female server on leaving the bar.

Ah - I started a diet to cure my insouciance weightlessness. It more or less involves me eating a shitload more. I'm skeptical of this working. (See above note about capoeira, for example - I can burn through calories like Sherman in Georgia.)

I went to New Jersey for my cousin's wedding. It was a Christian ceremony, which I've never attended before. In fact, I think I've only been to Hindu weddings to date.* Somewhat instructive. It was an Episcopalian (Anglican) church, which means it's exactly like a Catholic church, complete with no Bibles in the pews and the rite of the Eucharist, plus silly-looking gowns for the priest deacon. Ah - the major difference being that the deacon was a woman. Her sermon was interestingly constructed, in that it was coherent and engaging almost exactly in the inverse of when she was talking about God.

The highlight of that particular excursion was, of course, the reception, where I was officially designated as "guy who must light up the dance floor", everyone else apparently being either (a) white or (b) Indian uncles/aunties, and therefore unable to dance. This turned out to be not quite true - my sister-in-law loves to dance and can hold her own, and many people were at least committed, if not able. But I'm proud to say I definitely knocked that one out of the park, at least for songs that had desi beats to them, when I could trot out a pretty substantial battery of bhangra moves. I was more or less useless on the seventies disco-esque stuff and the like. How do you dance to that, anyway?

Well, there it stands. What have y'all been up to?

* This is not as bad as my roommate, who is twenty-two-ish, and has not been to a SINGLE wedding, to date.

Plus Eddie Izzard has made it impossible to take any mention of the Holy Ghost seriously, per his bit:
GOD: What's the Holy Ghost doing these days?

JESUS: Oh, he's useless, Dad. Goes around with a sheet over his head.

HOLY GHOST: [ spookily ] Holy Ghost! Holy Ghooost!

GOD: Holy Ghost, this is not an episode of Scooby Doo.


Yeah, you're totally   lying in that last paragraph.

And as for Christian weddings, we've been to a Hindu-Christian hybrid. Although that was a Unitarian ceremony, so I don't know whether it really counts... 

Posted by DearDarlingDidi

so, how cute was the flower kid? 

Posted by hibiscus

Happy belated birthday!

Have missed this blog.

Am trying to gain weight myself. Have lots of good tips. Willing to tutor you.


Posted by Mist1

Didoo - someday you will actually see me dance; I have some good recipes for crow that you can make use of on that day.

Hibisc - Answer: pretty fucking cute. (It was the groom's daughter from a previous marriage.) We don't have flower kids, though we do have "kid who rides on horse with the groom". But, key word there: we have a fucking horse.

Mist - I'm firmly convinced it's not possible. Honestly, my metabolism is absolutely ferocious. I'll probably have to wait until forty or so before I put on a pound. 

Posted by saurabh

Yes, happy birthday! By the way, pointing out that you're a) younger than me and b) struggling to gain weight that I would happily give you is not a good way to make friends. 

Posted by saurav

Hm. Fast metabolism, eh? That might be from hypoglycemia, possibly? The exact opposite of diabetes... Overenthusiastic insolin, so to speak... You might want to get that checked out.. A hint that you might have it would be eating a lot of carbohydrates (breads, grains, etc.), and then crashing soon after, falling asleep, or feeling extremely tired. My brother is like that.. My uncle even more so. He would fall asleep at the red light when he was going to university, and my mother would have to wake him up. He'd lift his head, and start driving again. You should try that, Saurabh.

*reads* Hm. Bad comment. Never good at writing comments.. Harum. Anyway, happy birthday, complete stranger. Complete stranger who doesn't know I'veb een reading his blog for about a month... O.o 

Posted by Lyze

Lyze - No hypoglycmeia. Just Indian. Nice to have you aboard. 

Posted by saurabh

Hi, welcome back. I´ve been in Mexico, where I have been busy trying to become fluent in Spanish (long way to go) and to learn a few words of Tzotzil without forgetting my English. Tough life.

By the way, I also had a birthday since last posting as well. Happy birthday to us.

A pal of mine has had success gaining weight using massive quantities of protein. It has also helped him gain muscle, which has helped with his athletic endeavors. He uses protein powder and bars and stuff, which can be helpful for a vegetarian. 

Posted by hedgehog

For some reason I want to say, "Damn! You're young," but you're still, barely, older than me. I guess like Topher Eggers I have mentally shifted my age up.

You don't like sweets, right? That doesn't help the weight gaining. Fix that, and you'll be halfway to Medium.

Re: the Gin--boy, you REALLY need to come out here sometime. Hedgehog chooses birthday drinks very well.  

Posted by Saheli

Re: the weight gain.

There is hope! I've gained 5-7 pounds! We're not total genetic freaks!

And no, I have no idea what I did. It happened by itself. Try sitting on your ass all the time, that might help. 

Posted by DearDarlingDidi

Love this blog.

Eddie Izzard quote suggests appreciation of British sense of humour. If I surmise correctly, might I suggest that Peter Kay's routine on weddings  would also raise a chuckle. The man is a fat, northern genius.


Posted by Glamourpuss

Happy birthday! Eddie Izzard

** Shaun **
My awesome blog: ohpunk.blogspot.com 

Posted by Shaun

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