29 November, 2006

Well, do you?

I've desperately been in need of a laugh, and this column by Jonathan Chait in the LA Times gave it to me! The article is titled "Bring Back Saddam Hussein", with the tag: "Restoring the dictator to power may give Iraqis the jolt of authority they need. Have a better solution?"

I find this astoundingly funny. What can we do with it? Let's try our best:
  • "Euthanizing cancer patients may help reduce our bloated health-care budget. Have a better solution?"
  • "Exterminating the Kulaks might allow me to get some sleep at night. Have a better solution?"
  • "Keying my boss's car may compensate in some small way for my years of useless busywork in this dead-end corporate job. Have a better solution?"
  • "Punching that fucking rhinoceros in the jaw may make him stop charging our car. Have a better solution?"
  • "Bubble gum might be just the thing to stop up the six-foot long tear in our silk hot-air balloon. Have a better solution?"
  • "Stapling my car-keys directly to my wrist may prevent me from misplacing them so often. Have a better solution?"
  • "Wearing these spandex shorts might get that girl to notice how big my johnson is. Have a better solution?"
  • "Opening the pressurized door above the wing might allow some fresh air into this stuffy airplane cabin. Have a better solution?"
I could do this all day.


jumping out a window is the fastest way to get to the ground. have a better solution?

eating poisonous snakes keeps them from biting you.

doing handstands on broken glass prevents your feet from getting cut up.

self-immolation protects you from death in an accidental fire. 

Posted by hibiscus

A bullet to my forehead may be just the jolt I need to remember how much I love life. Got a better solution? Oh what's that? You suggest a 20% solution of ethyl alcohol in cold carbonated water? I've been using that solution for years. 

Posted by hedgehog

Turn around so I can get a better look at you in those spandex shorts.Thanks. 

Posted by Mist 1

what an idea, i hadn't thought of it, he has such a defensive-nasty reputation. no question if he showed up and said, as president, "wind power!" who would seriously argue against? arguments on cost would collapse at his feet. 

Posted by hibiscus

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